The Winner's Speech

Senators McCain and Obama: Take some advice from an average American. Give this speech. Whichever one of you does, and does it well, will win this election. The Speech goes something like this:

My fellow Americans:
I have seen the prices climb steadily at gas stations. I know many of you are dreading heating your homes this winter. I also understand that most of you are frustrated with how the government has (or has not) handled this problem. Some have proposed a gas tax holiday. This is akin to the fire department seeing your house ablaze and, instead of putting out the fire, watering the roof of your storage shed. You don't lose the storage shed, but everything precious to you is in your home, not your shed. Right now, our lifestyles depend on vast amounts of oil, natural gas, and coal-- non-renewable resources. Sooner or later, we will run out, and while Washington dithers back and forth about "sustainability", etc. , the price of gas and food, the most critical purchases Americans make, have at least doubled in the past year. Ethanol clearly is not the solution-- not only are its effects miniscule, but the shortage of corn and the resulting increases in food prices have caused pain throughout the world. This is utterly unacceptable. And I have a plan to begin fixing it.

This morning, I introduced legislation in the Senate to nullify all bans on nuclear power plants [EOWYN: I don't know if this is strictly possible, as all the bans a quick Google search came up with are state bans, but something like this needs to happen]. By the time the presidential election happens in November, clean, renewable energy plants will already be in construction in the following states: [EOWYN: Senator's pick, but I would start with New York, California, Florida, Michigan, and Ohio]..., provided passage of my bill.

I am aware of the problems involved with nuclear waste, as I am also aware that no one wants a nuclear waste site in their backyard. These are problems with no easy solution, but building these power plants will buy us some time and relief from ridiculous prices for electricity, not to mention lessening air pollution.

I am also aware that nuclear power plants are expensive. That is why, beginning on my first day in office, I will veto any bill that includes earmarks, so-called pork, coming from Congress. Far too much money, given by taxpayers, is wasted on these pork projects, which include improvements to bike paths and building multi-million dollar bridges that would service fewer than 60 people. This is an outrageous use of American citizens' money-- indeed, in some cases, it is little better than highway robbery. Last year alone, Americans forked over $13.2 billion to greed. That is down considerably from the $29 billion in 2006, but it is still insane. There are far better uses for that money. One of the optimal uses for it would be tax-cuts. However, I am going to ask for the faith of the American people. If you approve (government does, after all, work for you), the same amount of money that was used for pork last year, $13.2 billion, will be appropriated and used to fund the following plan:

Our nation's top scientists and engineers, including auto designers, manufacturers, propulsion experts from NASA, and others, will be given jobs (at competitive pay) and space in Washington D.C. for one purpose-- to design cars that don't need oil, natural gas, or ethanol. I know that electric cars already exist. I also know that they are expensive, and frankly, often unexciting to drive. The cars coming out of this lab in D.C. will run on the IKEA principle: give quality, and give it cheaply. I only want viable, sellable cars coming out of this lab, cars that are ready to go into production immediately. The most expensive design should cost no more than $30,000 out the door, with the least expensive being in the $10,000- $15,000 range, or even less if they get really ambitious. The first of these cars will be on the market within 4 years, as the design specs coming out of this government-funded lab will be provided to every American auto-maker free of charge, provided they can mass-produce it within 2 years.

While this lab in D.C. is working on cars, they will also be collaborating with oil companies. No one wants to dis-employ all those who work for oil companies, nor is it reasonable to ask the companies to research themselves out of business. I propose, instead, to give a tax-break or other financial incentive to each company that can present a model for a viable alternative energy source capable of serving a major city and that will pledge to have it up and running with in five to ten years of their presentation. Private enterprise is one of America's greatest strengths-- I won't ask any company to commit suicide. I simply ask them to evolve, and to embrace the challenge as Americans have always done.

I know this is an ambitious project. I know that almost everything in it has never been done before-- people have come up with prototypes, and PhD papers, and models, but there has never been anything more concrete than that to show the American consumer. Politicians typically talk big and have very little to show for it at the end.

Not this time. This is the United States of America. We fought a war to free ourselves, first from foreign tyranny and then from the tyranny of slavery. We have saved the world-- twice! We built a railroad to span a continent, airplanes to fly over it, roads to drive across it, bridges to cross its lakes and rivers. We put men on the moon not once, but six times. We are responsible for some of the greatest technological advances the world has ever seen-- do not tell me that we can't find a way to get off oil. This country has never failed to accomplish something we have united behind. Everyone agrees on the need to find other ways to drive our society.

Let's get to it.
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The key to this speech is sincerity. We have had enough of typical politicians right now. Both McCain and Obama are running as the anti-politician, the guy who is really there to make the country better instead of for his own aggrandizement. Now is the time to prove it. C'mon, guys, you're running for Leader of the Free World. Boldly go where few politicians have gone before-- lead. Accomplish something that really could change the world. Give America another reason to be proud.